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I have renal kidney disease

It is amazing the things life can throw at you sometimes, or how very quickly life can change for the worst and yet for the better all at the same time.

In September of 2019 I quit my job as secretary for a vending company not just because I couldn't take the negativity of my employer but I wasn't really feeling very good and I was so darn itchy all the time. At first, I thought it was because of the summer heat then I began to wonder if something wasn't wrong with me, I was itching all the time and I was so drained. Just no energy. I was napping more and more. But I didn't think I could go to the doctor for we had no insurance and really couldn't afford any more bills. So I put off going, hoping that things would get better for me now that I wasn't working. Things didn't get better but worse, in December I came down with a case of bladder infection. At first I though it was just that I had passed another kidney stone and that would account for the backache and blood in my urine. It would only last a week like all the other times that I passed a kidney stone, but things didn't clear up the got worse. And I were was my energy going, I felt so weak, this shouldn't be happening. I finally gave in to go to the doctors in January of 2020. It was on the 14th of January that I went in for a check, thinking that all that was to it was to get some meds for the bladder infection and everything would be okay again. That is not what happen, the words that came out of the nurse's mouth sent me reeling.

"You are going to die if you don't go to the E.R. right now"

"Why" I stammered, tears swelling up in my eyes.

"You have renal kidney failure, your kidneys are no longer working like they should."

I don't remember all that was said between us but it did get a bit heated, she trying to convince me to go to the E.R. and me saying no because I just didn't know how we could afford the medical bills Thoughts like if I get treatment we could and most likely would lose our home... everything and I didn't want that for them. The nurse eventually got some medicine for the gladder infection and i went home. My youngest daughter was with me at time and I am not sure who was more upset me or her, we were both crying. The next morning I return to the clinic to receive the second shot that the nurse said I need for my infection. This time I was seen by a real live doctor who was puzzled as to why I was there, the nurse had lied to me. The doctor again tried to get me to take treatment and go to the E.R. and again I had to tell him why I decided not to because the lack of funds. The doctor was more gentle with me than the nurse had been and I left wishing I could do the treatment for renal kidney disease for I had no desire to end up dead, but how could I without any money. Later than evening the doctor called me again asking me to think about going to the E.R. and then he stated that Medicare would be pay for the treatment and it was guaranteed for anyone with kidney failure would get Medicare. The next day I went to the E.R. and a whole new adventure started for me. An adventure full of many ups and downs, some days have more downs than up.

The ride down to Provo Hospital in an ambulance was interesting having to lay on a bed when I wasn't really feeling that bad. The world rushing by me, I had to keep telling myself that this wasn’t a bad dream that it was real, I had renal kidney disease and my kidneys were failing, dialysis was my only choice for life. It was that or I would die in a few weeks if not days. I didn’t want to die, there were still so many different things I wanted to do … had to do. I was scared and a bit confused, how could this be happening to me? What had I done to desire this? Questions raced though my head. Had a done something wrong and angered God that he would cure me with this disease? Why? Why? Why? The question replayed over and over in my head. I just didn’t understand how this could of happened to me, I have always had such good health or did I ? Renal kidney disease is a genetric disease, in other words I was born with this disease and it just slowly came to light… it was rather speedily the last few years.

The first day in the hospital was lonely, I thought I could do this by myself I didn’t want to bother my family with it. After all , it was my problem and not theirs, or so I thought …. boy was I wrong! By night fall I was missing my family and knew that I needed them and couldn’t not do this without them. During the day they, had put a catheter in me to drain out my urine, for I had difficulty going to the bathroom… boy, was that thing uncomfortable! I hope I don’t ever have to wear one of those things again. I was sure glad when they took it out a few days later.

The second day, in the hospital I had surgery to put a catheter and to create me fishula. Now, that was an interesting experience, I had never had surgery before. The room that they took me to was cold and in the basement of the hospital. It was a large cement room with curtains for dividing walls and there were no windows, just cement walls… not a very friendly place to be… I was scared, confused... things just weren’t real to me. I barely heard what the surgeon said to me as he explained what he was going to do, and nodded dumbly to his words. Then, came the mask… a black mask….

“Just relax and take a deep breath”, I heard someone say… there was a strange smell, then blackness.

Waking up from the surgery was on of the hardest things I have ever done. I think I would of gladly die I felt so out of it and very sick to my stomach. It was like I couldn’t wake up… I couldn’t think … I was floating in time. I hated the feeling…. I hated being so very out of control. The thought of every having to go through surgery of any kind…. frightens me!. For a few days afterwards I couldn’t keep any food down. I would eat and it would come right back up… yuck! I really felt like I was at death’s door. It wasn’t until the fourth day after the surgery that I started to feel better and could eat. I even got up and walked around a little bit with the help of my daughter, Nicole. It was to go home a few days later. I really missed my home and my critters. My dog, Tiny Tim was very excited to see me. I took a few weeks for me to get my strength back to were I could do something around the house. I was feeling very useless and in times of depression wondered if it wouldn’t of been better if I had die, I wasn’t really need in my own home. The first few weeks I did a lot of crying as I tried to adjust to my new life.

My first session of dialysis outside of the hospital was in Heber City, on a Monday. I was surprised with I walked into the room, it had windows and a lot of them unlike the dialysis center at the hospital which was in the dark, cold basement. It was a very unfriendly place, called it Hell. I would get so very cold during the sessions of dialysis and end up feeling so very sick. My experience at the dialysis at the center turned out to be very different. This place was friendly, the staff make me feel welcome and not just like I was another piece of meat.

Having a Catheter in one’s chest is not fun. It hurts and you can’t get it wet… so no baths except for sponges baths. You can’t really get clean with a sponges bath. For three months I when bathless as I waited for my fishula to grown. It was a great day when I was told that They would start using my fishula for the dialysis sessions instead of the Catheter. After six times in row of the fishula working I was told that I could get the Catheter removed. Now, there was an interesting experience of getting my catheter removed. I was told that it wouldn’t hurt, but I felt it has the doctor pulled it out of my chest. It was weird.

It is June now, and I am learning to put the needles into to my fishula by myself. At first I was terrified at the thought of putting needles into my arm. Having someone else do it is one thing, but having me do it is another thing it hurts when the needles are poked through the skin. It took a few days for me to convince my brain that it wouldn’t hurt when I put the needles into my arm. For the first week I only put in one needle and let the nurse put in the other one. The next week I put both needles in, at first it was very scary, however I am getting better at it with each time that I try in. I want to be able to do dialysis at home. It would work out better for me being able to do it at night five times a week for two hours at day rather that go to the dialysis center three times a week for four hours a day. I will give me more time to do what I want with my time.

oday's recipe...or two..... yummy!

Southern Fried Chicken Batter

1 pound(s) uncooked boneless skinless chicken breast(s), four 4-oz pieces

1/2 tsp table salt, divided, or to taste

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper, divided, or to taste

1/3 cup(s) all-purpose flour

3 oz low-fat buttermilk

1/2 cup(s) cornflake crumbs


Preheat oven to 375ºF. Lightly coat an 13- X 8- X 2-inch baking dish with cooking spray; set aside.

Season chicken with salt and cayenne pepper to taste; set aside.

Combine flour, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper together in a medium-size bowl. Place buttermilk and cornflakes crumbs in 2 separate shallow bowls.

Dredge chicken in flour mixture and evenly coat both sides. Next, dip chicken into buttermilk and turn to coat both sides. Last, dredge chicken in cornflake crumbs and turn to coat both sides.

Place coated chicken breasts in prepared baking dish. Bake until chicken is tender and no longer pink in center, about 25 to 30 minutes (there is no need to flip the chicken during baking).

KFC Coleslaw

1 Bag coleslaw mix shredded cabbage

½ C. Shredded carrots

¼ C. Finely chopped onion

½ C. Mayonnaise

¼ C. Buttermilk

¼ C. Milk

¼ C. Granulated sugar

2 Tbsp. Lemon juice

1 Tbsp. White vinegar

Salt and pepper to taste


Place the cabbage, onions and carrots into a large mixing bowl, and mix to combine well.

In a bowl, whisk together the mayo, buttermilk, milk, sugar, lemon juice and vinegar until incorporated completely.

Pour the sauce mixture over the cabbage mix in the bowl, and toss to coat completely.

Add salt and pepper to taste, and chill for several hours before serving.


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